Friday, October 3, 2008

My girlfriend is suffocating me!!!

My girlfriend is suffocating me!! She rings me for hours every night and puts a guilt trip on me if she can't, She wants to spend every minute with me. I've told her how I feel and that I don't think we should talk for hours every night but she is not taking it nicely. She says that I don't love her as much as she loves me, which isn't the case!!! I just need some space, but if I tell her that she thinks I don't like spending time with her. What should I do? Please help me!

Poor you!!! Isn't it horrible being trapped and smothered like this? If you say how you feel, she offers you emotional blackmail and tries to make you feel guilty. She says this is how you offer good love - but she's wrong. Good love doesn't consume your whole life. That would be vampirism in my opinion. Good love acknowledges that each of you is your own individual self with your own individual life and that you have a relationship which you share as one aspect of your life. Everybody has their own balance between the need for space and the need for closeness. However much you love each other, unless you can both reach a compromise with which you're both pretty satisfied, your relationship isn't going to last long enough.So it's best to finish it as amicably as possible. Then you'll each be free to find someone whose needs match your own.

Why not invite your girlfriend to read your letter with its declaration of love and this answer? Then you can both talk about what you want and what you're willing to offer. If you can, you could be the wind beneath each other's wings, helping each other to flourish and coming happily back to the haven of each other's love. I wish her more confidence so her neediness doesn't smother you or any future boyfriends, and I wish you contentment and peace of mind.

1 comment:

Cameron Sharpe said...

.I feel something in my heart And I pray that it's true My heart feels sublime love For a special you. I see your face And I can't bear to see it go I want to tell you my inner feelings From my heart unknown