Tuesday, September 30, 2008

FaceBook ruined my marriage


Question:
Please help me, i am sitting here with my heart broken and i dont know what to do. My husband has told me Its Over - as he was always playing on his playstation,i decided to set up a profile on facebook - i did and got into contact with old school freinds and it kept me going, guys who i went to school with messaged me - only as freinds but i said hi and what i was up to but thats about it, it was the girly chats i enjoyed. Anyway,my husband's friend told him about my profile and that i had guys on there and he has flipped,we had a massive argument and he says he doesnt want me anymore - i took my ring off in temper and he took it away saying i cant have it back!! I love him but hate how are marriage has turned into something sour, we have money worries coming out of our ears and he is always stressed from working hard - we dont go out and his release is the playstation but he is ALWAYS on it.. i really dont think i was doing anything wrong, i was just so bored otherwise. I have no interest in any other guys, my husband hasnt made me happy in a long while but i know we would be fine without all these money worries.. sometimes i hate him but i am now terrified that this is it - he says he is sleeping in the spare room and he does, he says he has had enough. I want everything to go back to how it was when we first met, hes now acting cold and distant, i cant go on like this i really am at breaking point - please help me!! The thing is i wouldnt like it if he had women on his facebook either but i can honestly say this was all innocent!!

Answer:
I feel so sad for you ...
It is tempting to take off your wedding ring when you feel as hurt as you do from his reaction.
It's easy for me to say he's over-reacting but I think when he calms down he will have time to reflect and realize the bigger picture. People do really stupid stuff when they are very hurt or feel someone has stepped into their territory.
The stress that both of you are under makes it necessary for both of you to throw yourselves into a distraction to take your minds off your concerns. This is important that the both of you can have some kind of diversion. The problem starts to arise when the diversions no matter how innocent they are causes the two of you to spend too much time away from each other.

You need to make an appointment to talk to your husband. Yeah, but you have to be very CALM and very LOVING, you need to explain to him how you feel and why you did it. You will have to apologize to him for what you did and for your behavior, then give him a chance to "vent" his feelings and his frustration and probably hurt.Ask him to talk to you about his feelings of how this has hurt him.Listen to his feelings.He needs to talk to you of how he feels so you can reassure him it was innocent and that if you thought it would have caused him any pain you would never have done it.Let him know that you are reasonable and willing to accommodate his wishes...unless he is clear what makes him feel secure or insecure how will you ever know...talk talk talk.

It's natural to hate someone you love when you are emotionally involved with them . . it's just human nature . . don't feel bad about this. It comes and goes like a phase. People don't usually talk about hating someone they love because we've been led to believe it's wrong to have this sort of feeling.

I always say it's the one who wants it most is the one who will be doing all the work.
Money problems Sort them out.Be kind and gentle with yourself along the way as you are going to need to be the strong one... you can do it!!

Find someone who you could go to who will give you a big hug and listen to you . . this really helps even if they only listen. Make sure you go to someone who is positive and encouraging for saving your marriage. Don't let a misunderstanding break your marriage apart.

Best wishes!

32 comments:

Jason said...

Great question and answer session with this one! My oh my, how Facebook and Myspace have changed our lives and the way in which we communicate. Cheers!

Peter Dawg said...

Tum dono mian beewi baaz aa jao...yeh jo harkat kar rahay ho yeh achi nahin hai...i'll tell facebook ppl that a couple is raging a campaigne against them...hooohahahaahha...o dubai chalo dubai chalo !!!

Ronald said...

hehehe, my things are usually private to avoid problems..

Anonymous said...

The worst thing of social networks is that people tend to disguss their relationship problems with their socalled friends instead of their partners,and some "friends" are just waiting for your problems to "help you out".My wife left me too and almost all of her "friends" knew about her problems before i did.

Anonymous said...

Do yourself a favor everybody. Delete your Myspace/Facebook account if you have a relationship you want to keep.

Am said...

facebook makes it way too easy to veer off in the wrong direction. what starts as a simple friend add can turn into much more. i deleted my account but my fiancee still has hers. we agreed on a all male or female friend list. but as soon as i said i'm over it add who you want 2 co-workers appeared. we have had issues ever since. we live in strange shitty world now where at the punch of a key you can send a flirty message that should otherwise never really come to life. technology is making some changes on the social behaviours of humans. and its not for the better.

Heartbroken but not Stupid in Sacramento said...

I just caught my wife cheating on me through Facebook with a married man (a newlywed in fact, he got married in May, and this month is my 3 year wedding anniversary). It started off with reconnecting with old high school friends, then became an obsession. She can't go 5 minutes without checking either her phone or the computer for her Facebook feed or text messages. Good thing she foreshadowed it to me with something she slipped and said and I have good friends, or I still might not know. I found messages through the browser history, yes even some she had deleted, professing her love and confusion of what to do with this guy... All this time leading up to a 20 year class reunion (her friend's, a year ahead of her, not hers). She barely even knew the guy but remembered him, and they had many mutual friends. I found out later, after reunion weekend that she had been making out with him at a pre-reunion mixer the night before the actual event, then on further investigation, discovered she had also booked a hotel room a couple days in advance, all the while maintaining to me that she was coming home afterward. It was also my 20 year reunion that weekend in another city, so we had already parted ways by the time she actually copped to the hotel room. The results of all of this was more than I could take, and the really hard part was that a week later was my son's 2nd birthday party which we had invited 50+ guests to, so I was faced with keeping it all inside for the week, or risk blowing up my kid's special day. That was the hardest week of my life, and since it's not my son's fault, I suppressed it all. After the party, I told my wife that she had been treating me poorly and shown me disrespect, and let her know what I knew. I still loved her at this point, so I told her that if she wanted to have any chance at fixing this, I could forgive the kiss, I might even be able to forgive sex, but feelings, NO WAY. The conditions of us staying together were that
1) she defriend him, and have no further contact via phone, text, email, through their mutual friends, etc.
2) she wasn't going to another high school reunion event without me ever again.
3) never have another hotel room that I'm not staying in with her.
4) allow me to monitor her electronic communication traffic (Facebook, texts and emails) until trust is rebuilt.
All perfectly reasonable demands given what had transpired. She told me that she couldn't even obey condition number 1 since she has developed feelings for this homewrecker. She has since told me she needs time and space to think about what she wants and that this is a big decision. The reunions were on Aug 1, 2009, my son's birthday party was on August 8, and last Monday I gave her a time limit, she has until tomorrow to decide on the permanent status of our relationship. This has been a really long 2 weeks for me, during which I have uncovered many other layers of deceit. It has been fraught with guilt, anger, sadness, humiliation (she made out with him in a public place after all), threats (not of violence, but the social and family repercussions, for both him and her), loss of self esteem for me, and childish behavior and more lies for her, I even tried being nice and presenting peace offerings - everything is pushing her further away at this point. She seems more sorry about getting caught and hurting me than she does about her actual actions, which I also find disturbing. The writing seems to be on the wall for our marriage, and I feel a wicked custody battle coming up if/when we do split. Believe it or not there is a lot more of this story, this is just the condensed version. A word of advice, if you love someone, and they are into this electronic social networking, talk about and take part in what they are doing... And never let your significant other go to a reunion without you.

jennymike4 said...

Relationships are quite complicated one has to face when in trouble, but it's also not as bad as one would be led to believe in it.Just try to brush away all those misunderstandings and believe in the fact of making-up that relationship all you have to do is to start knowing what really went wrong and what made two humans who loved each other in depth to part their ways, is it because of money mis-management or something else . You can always find the answer here.

Money and Marriage

TheTrueAveryck said...

Um, guys? Facebook didn't ruin anything here. Failure to communicate and a lack feelings for each other did. The guy overreacted and got massively jealous. He's angry about her having guys on her page. But instead of doing the smart thing and talking to her about it, he hides away on the playstation. Neither of them are talking about their issues, so a failure to communicate is the issue here.

Freeva13 said...

FACEBOOK, was meant to reconnect with old friends, and also get information for "class reunions" BUT THE REALITY IS .. IT IS A CHEATERS WELCOME DATING SITE. YES.
Many marriages have been ruin, as a result, of the fantasy that as a child you were and act as a child, and as a mature adult, reconnecting with all friends, should be just that. NOT, DISRESPECTING YOUR WIVES OR HUSBANDS, BY STUPID high school crushes reviving thru this communication, and manipulating thru this false sense of I knew you, .. b.s. MY HUSBAND, WENT SOLO TO A HIGH SCHOOL REUNION, .. AND LOSS ALL SENSE OF OUR MARRIAGE COMMITMENT, the stupid suppost best friend, who also cheated on her husband, started flirting, he fall for it, and next thing they were having an emotional affair, "fantasasing" of what if.. and to make the story short, I find out and kick him to the curve. eventually yes, their affair materialize, and we are legally divorce, he wants me back of course, woke up from his stupid fantasy, that distroyed, many years of marriage and our families. YES, all marriages may have issues, but FACEBOOK, is a way of letting someone from the past, visit the future, and interfere seriosly making your relationship toxic, with lies and deceived. Is a way of sneaking into your life, pretending of a friendships, that are nothing more than intentional attack to your peace. LETS MAKE FACEBOOK ONLY FOR SINGLE PEOPLE LOOKING TO HOOK UP WITH THEIR PAST .. NOT FOR THE PRESENT LIFE, STICK TO THE ANNOUNCEMENTS OF THE REUNIONS, AND HUSBAND AND WIVES, TAKE YOUR PARTNER TO THIS REUNIONS IF YOUR INTENTIONS ARE LEGIT. IF NOT, DON'T FUCK UP YOUR MARRIAGE OVER A FANTASY, THAT WILL COST YOU THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IN REGRETS, AS MY NOW XHUSBAND, REGRETS AND I PICK UP THE PIECES TO MOVE ON, DUE TO HIS BETRAYAL.

Freeva13 said...

FOR THOSE WHO SAID FACEBOOK, DIDN'T DO NOTHING TO YOUR MARRIAGE BREAK UP, YOU SO WRONG...

READ THE STORIES, AND SEE it does. FACEBOOK IS A BIG JOKE TO MARRIAGES, AND RELATIONSHIPS. very evil people have the bad intentions to begin with, to making innocent contact via facebook, to rekindle and old flame, or make false pretences, and sneak into someone's life knowing they are married in this present life, and have families.
LISTEN CAREFULLY, .. if your HUSBAND OR WIFE, is spending more time in the freaking internet, and texting old friends in school, WATCH OUT, if he or she doesn't want you to accompany to his/her school reunion OPEN YOUR EYES, THAT IS THE VERY FIRST FLAG!!!! if you partner have nothing to hide and loves you, he or she will take you to their school reunion. YOU MAY HAVE ISSUES IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND OR IN YOUR MARRIAGE, BUT LETTING FACEBOOK, ..old school friends or exes, pop in to your life, or spouse life, is just opening PANDORA BOX, TO ENTER IN YOUR HOME THRU THIS TYPE OF COMMUNICATIONS, DO NOT ALLOWED IT, ... DO NOT.

TAKE MY ADVISED YOU WILL THANK US THE VOICES OF THE ONCE THAT GOT BETRAYED BY OUR WEAK PARTNERS, .. YES A CHEATER IS A CHEATER, BUT IF YOU PUT A PIECE OF CHOCOLATE CAKE IN FRONT OF SOMEONE WHO IS ON A DIET, AND TELL HIM NOT TO EAT IT, CURIOSITY KILLED THE CAT, AND IS VERY TEMPTING TO PLAY THIS KIND OF GAMES, CALL WHITE LIES, OR INNOCENTLY, AND ENDS UP IN RUINING THE REST OF YOUR LIFE AND THOSE YOU LOVE END UP BEING HURT. FOREVER.

Anonymous said...

My husband and I both have FB accounts. He had and affair...unFB related. We survived. I write on his wall often reminding him I love him. It's fun, another way to feed him and anyone who is interested in him will search and see the love he has at home. Neither of us adds anyone the other would be uncomfortable with.

Anonymous said...

I understand that all relationships have trouble. But if you are commited and do everything in your power to try and be honest and up front then YOu have done all that you can. My wife was on Facebook all the time and I work 60 feet from her and would watch her all day on it talking to most people that was harmless. But then I start seeing blocking of people and sending texts to some guy and she refuses to open it and show me what it is that she is writing and see her commets to other people there is a trust issue. Ya she says that it is me and I say here is mine take a look. but she will not open hers. Yes I feel that the personal affection that should happen between a man and a woman is destroyed by the 120 contacts that are all happening on the cell and the computer and you have very little with your spouse when she is preoccupied with Facebook destroys more than I want to talk about. 2 make 1 and when 1/2 is talking to others and not responding to you then there is something wrong. You ask her out and to chuurch and to movies and anything at all and she would rather be home with teenagers allowing moral issues to be broken at the basic level then its time to let go. I love her with all my heart and feel like I am bleeding inside from this. But I understand one thing and that is that GOD has a path tomake my life better and if its without her then so be it. I am calmer and know that I deserve better. If you are married then you are married and there is no areas in life that you dont share openly. U can confess your sins to god all you want, but if your not telling him the truth then you have to answer in the end and I want GOD to know that my heart is open and my values are strong.. Thank you Oh ya, She pawned her wedding ring to pay a electric bill and got $750 for a $7000 ring.

Anonymous said...

IUntill you have been on the receiving end of thus cruel method of people tracking down their past in attempt to re kindle something, you will never understand the pain these what seem as innocent sites do to peoples lives. my partner if five years... was hounded by a despert women whose facebook wall speaks volumns, she's addicted to sharing with the www her latest thoughts... loud brash lonely women... who feels the need to tell everyone she us having such fun... well reality is if your really enjoying life and having so much fun... would u really have time

Anonymous said...

She innocently used the tools of facebook to track down my partner the only thing they had in common they were born in the same hospital and shared the same birthday and initial!!! recently divorced and hay ho was desperate to manipulate what she cld, my partner always thought fb as a Hoover for picking up names... then she came along after 3 mths he asks his mother who this person is and accepts her as a friend... two wks later he tells me his list his identity and wants to finish our relationship and walks out on me and our 18 mth old son and a home we worked so hard for in renovating... only finished when he left. Same day he books a  5 hr flight to visit this women but tells everyone his going up north to see family and tells me to take a break and go away for 4 days. 
I knew something was not quite right when he said he wanted to finish our relationship it didn't make sense, sure ge bought me iPhone for my bthday 2 wks before, we gad a holiday booked that September. low and behold discover he has a flight booked and then ring the airliner to discover to Washington Dc, the penny dropped the emails we kept receiving asking him to be her friend... I neatly died with shock... when I hacked into facebook to ask her what she was doing sterling a father away from his 18 mth old baby... she was just full of abuse and didn't give a dame... just only reconfirmed in my mind and friends what a heartless calculating hard women to do what she was doing. I went to councillor and hoped my partner wld go.. his mother and father tried to reason with him because he was acting so irrational, but no she gad her hooks into him... he was weak was attracted by the wild entertaing life she appeared to have... heading back over there again in October to share their 40 th birthday, then she came here in nov and he headed there again twice in december spending Xmas with her and her family, again in jan during our sons 2nd birthday... gradually seeing our son less and less despite 2 mins around the corner from the home.   Never asked how our son was over Christmas what ge received from Santa what he received for birthday etc
Just drawn in by this women given him the fun and thrill if long distant relationship the suspence if the next encounter... flights back and forth from London to USA... all this time he shut himself off from his friends because he knew what they would think of him for walking out on his family.

Anonymous said...

Feb she lands here, then he heads there begining of march  and low and behold they annonce on fb were getting married...   5 wks later their married in USA... yet again she's glued to the dame iPhone and annouced to the world we have just tied the knot! mmm question mmmm if you were so busy enjoying your day would you have a thought to think walking back dn the aile where's my iPhone need to tell www on fb... probably not. their wedding seems a complete mockery... their both on the honeymoon period of fun on fb... irony is his friends are now aware and some the men think this is great and congratulating him! 

No thought for the trail of destruction his left behind for me and our baby. this women knew we were engaged and he had a baby... she wld hv seen the pics on facebook on his acct and mine, they knew what they were doing.. she could see none of his friends were interacting on his fb in responce to their comments etc when theyflirted, to start with he filtered her name from the rest of his friends so no one cld see they were friends.

now their married his finally going to introduce her to his friends here in London... does she not q why. untill now... because he was never sure about her it was fun... now the only way to get his green card and escape the mess his created here is to say marry me... he can escape the life less ordinary here... and ride her train jouney of fun... sooner later reality will kick in for the two of them... that's the day I think... I and my son had a lucky escape from a weak man who cld be lured by a fb phantom chassing the thrill.

I may sound flipent.. but no my heart has bn broken nit a day goes by and I hv not cried... when all this happened ho nestlt thought it's madness, his cracking up and she's manipulating him... his not going to leave his ho
e his baby or me for this mid life crises women.  But he has... only time will tell what happens... she doesn't know it he has a past... some thing I discovered last autumn... his a restless person with a a pattern he moves from one thing to the next... blamed every women he was with for the break dn in the relationship... it was never him

Anonymous said...

Yet his the one riddled with guilt and only now wishes to see his son once a mth... from a man who was a devoted father to a selfish man to put his own needs first.
Fb I agree shld be only for singles, no one should be looking up people in their past... there is a reason why these people are in their past, because their not part of their present life... hence their motives for searching to their past is deeply worrying, to go out of yr way to track someone dn is questionable... very different if you happen to bump into someone at a function face to face... that's fate... fb that's not, a tool used for the wrong reasons.
Wrecked my life for now... about to lose our home we worked so hard for, I gave up my career to take care of our child... now it's dn to me to give him a life and return to ft work and somehow fit it around his childcare arrangemts whilst his father runs off to have the single couple life without a child to rear.   
Fb can b used for the right reason to share photos with families etc reason I set up the account, but my partner was lured by this women found common bond of playing some stupid mafia game... all of sudden hv so much in common.... she was calculating, well I belive in karma... heil she will have her day yet for what she has done and so will he... reality of life has not registered with them both yet. 
IT Will come around... but he will suffer more.. she has given up nothing... his about to lose everything thks to dame fb.

Anonymous said...

Bullcrap to the guy who said failure to communicate.The woman knew what she was doing and planned it all out from the get go how she was going to do it.The man was tricked.She needs to get kicked out at once from the house because she made the worst mistake ever. It was trickery and too much liberty the woman took.
Don't let these vile woman continue to hurt you. Kick them out at once because they will lie
to you again and you will just hate it so much.That forgiving making up is a bunch of bull.
She will fake her way back into your life and trick you some more when everything cools off,
if you're stupid. Once you find out your wife has done something very bad like catching her
in a lie or cheating, then get rid of her for god says to do so.Don't listen to her about
how sorry she is that she finally had to admit. She knows already and doesn't really care
about you and nothing you say will ever change her mind because she is selfish. She will be
weak to stop herself from continuing her bad ways. Weak women make bad wives. Why torture yourself when the woman doesn't really love you and thus you are unbound to her and she is not one flesh with you any longer, she unbound herself and condemned herself before god who will never let her into heaven for a cheating wife is cheating her lord, her husband, and it's just like cheating god. that means you are free to find a better person.
Many women on earth to find yourself in love with. Test the woman by slowly spending time
with her and seeing what she does and who her friends are and any history she shares with
people because that determines if she can be a good wife. If she was sexual with somebody
from school then already that a minus sign because reunions ruin marriages when the woman
takes a former lover because she is weak. Stop marrying women you don't really know as well
as you think you do.Put cameras in your house so you know what happens when you're not home, and gps the vehicle.
You are the master of your house and have the right to know just like a business tapes it's
day to day operations and you have the same right to protect your interests. Women lots of
times need to be monitored because it might take years before she becomes worse and worse at
hiding secrets. Man has every right to be jealous because most women can't be trusted. Most
women I have come to know, surprised me with how they really are inside once you know
them.Disgusting. I really hate to have to remarry again after kicking a bad wife out that
the new potential girlfriend has just as bad a history as your ex and it makes no sense to
continue with her.Its really really important to keep yourself from letting them always say
its a man's fault for them cheating if the man didn't cheat.A bad woman will always say it's
your fault. Instead she should have said that she wanted to do something and given the man a
choice to leave before she did anything, that way, no one gets really hurt, especially if she
wants to do it with somebody you know,or she knows.Better to be honest up front about
intentions and no lies needed. Make sure they understand they can't behave like that before
you make them a girlfriend and make her understand the rules of the relationship on your
terms not hers because they take too much liberty because there are no rules to them, in their minds it's whatever happens, happens.Men should always plan for the day you catch your wife and what to do and how to do it and recover yourselves for a new woman that loves you for real. With women you never really know, that's how they are. Find a better one. Trust me women will and can do anything they want and keep it right under your nose the whole time she is saying that she loves you. You need to make sure her words correspond with her actions.

Anonymous said...

well,

I dont know if she was cheating or not, but my wife was sending messages to "friends" with xoxo's in them, and calling other guys handsome, these are co workers of hers, not highscool freinds, also a couple of them were comign back to visit their hometown, she was meeting with them, and another coworker every month or two for coffees, I flipped, now my marriage is ruined.....anyone comment if im totally out of my mind or do I have a legitimate beef? I love her to death but i cannot handle the other fucking guys in her life.!

Anonymous said...

im the same one that posted above about the co workers being called handsome etc, one of the guys who were coming back for a visit wanted to start a relationship with her as well, and she never said no....

she's on the couch tonight and im in the bed....im so sick of facebook and its bullshit.

Anonymous said...

Facebook sucks. Complete waste of time and it DOES wreck friendships and marriages.

Anonymous said...

I hate Facebook now that I am in a serious relationship. It really sucks knowing your partner is spending so much time viewing pics and reading about the lives of others, instead of paying attention to their own...

Anonymous said...

I agree 21 year relationship and my wife split our two daughters and took one to Seattle for a loser (no job...disabilty from armed forces. This loser sweet talked her into a divorce threatened me and now they are together. 19 year old daughter got pregnant and mother is nowhere around everyone is miserable. Facebook DOES ruin marriages and/or my (almost) ex-wife is anIDIOT

Anonymous said...

facebook just ended another marriage. husband hooked up with an old friend. he gave her his cell #. she called at 3am. they thought i was asleep but i heard them planning to meet for lunch. might sound innocent in type, but his voice was whispering & sexy. Cracked into his facebook account and saw they were emailing messages back and forth. Nothing sexual but it still screwed things up. Facebook is the ruination of anyone in a serious relationship or marriage. If you need facebook then you don't need a one to one relationship.

Anonymous said...

Its not Facebook that ruins relationships, its people. If your intention is to cheat, you will find a way to do it, regardless. My husband left me and our 5 children and while we worked on reconciling, he accessed my facebook account and saw the name of an ex from over 18 years ago. The ex "friended" me nearly 5 month before my husband left and the has been NO contact on Facebook or otherwise sine I clicked "accept". I was falsely accused and called every name in the book, although I've been home, devoted to my children. It is not unnatural to want to check in with people from their past with no ulterior motive; its all about intent. Some people's intent is to create a relationship aside from an already existing one, but not everyone.

Anonymous said...

i want everyone to read this yes facebook can change your life you think your in a perfect marriage great friends with each other also both have time out with your friends family but come on bullshit i found out my husband has had a hidden facebook for three years how stupid was i yes to u all we had great marriage friends family ect i found so many girls writeing back telling him a load of crap about the lies he been saying to get friends to his page eight years i spent and i still ask myself why he posted single man was it fun sex just chat no he lied so much for other people to feel sorry for him so they would add him how i found out i was messing round with him on computer and he had message i couldent get my breath what i read come down meet me for lunch on and on do you know he blamed me yryed to put everything on me i havent done enything wrong he was caught he hated that so much anger towards me he got found out stupid me said i will give you time to find a place we will be adult about this you want to meet up chat carry on i dident care that he had loads of people on hidden facebook the fact was single everyone says perfect marriage but hand on heart yes great times people in this world feel sorry for other people who tells so much bullshit. makeing out that i was the bad wife when all along he had lied to so many people i did sit here and my heart was broken nobody only my family will ever know what i went through the things i was called the way i was treated and i done nothing wrong even his work staff sent me messages i dont want enyone feeling sorry for me there are loads of us out there you do think there will be nobody out there for you but who knows i have done my crying now and told him to leave now has soon has possible i did not chuck him out this is his home has much has mine but i dont need to be called names treated like a dog this was a week ago i have lost five pound not that i was over weight but stress i become strong in few days it doesent matter how much u love someone dont be walked over since i become this new person he crys to tell me he dont want to leave live alone in flat my answer is were is your facebook friends now why are they not helping you move or offering him a room most of them have blocked him since i saw a few of their names and sent a friend request and they saw pics of us married loads sent private mes to me saying he had single on his profile but come on u dont chat about family friends and how fed up u are to people u never met he dont want to leave he has seen his new place and he tells me i cant live there its crap compared to our large home yes funny because i own the house we had nothing to sort out but again i told him to take what ever he needed even bedding tv i have two children not young but great kids we will get on with life maybe a cry now and then when i am alone but to everyone do u know what breaks my heart they thought it was because of them i will get on i am a fighter if enyone out there man or women their partner has a facebook put yourself on the page with them has their partner or if your partner is spending more time on computer sit together do it together you might find out in other ways but your heart tells u in the end like me its his loss in the end i am and was a lovely fun loveing wife out going great to talk to its a pity he dident my name is clare x

Anonymous said...

Facebook is pure evil. My wife of 8 years had gotten into the networking site in 2008, since then several of her high school friends requested to be added to her list. While I have never really been the jelous type, I had no problem with them. During 2009 - 2010, I had been working in a different city about 250 miles away and only made it home on the weekends...not only to see her, but our two kids. One day, I was looking over her shoulder while she was chatting with someone and saw the male name beside the text. I thought nothing of it until a little voice in the back of my mind said, "perhaps you should check it out." I used her password and logged onto the chat. Thats where I found the previous nights messages that this male should have, "kissed her", made a move", and that perhaps that still could be possible, if they she were not happy. He even wanted to come to town when I was away and visit. This made me furious and I confronted her, she said it was just seeing how far he would go with it and nothing would come of it. Of course I didnt really buy that, but I informed her that if she wanted anything to do with our relationship she would cease these conversations. I have been keeping up with her activities and several of other lost boyfriends have tried to get her to talk in sexual manors that any one would consider emotional cheating...I for one, will be glad when Face-book is in the past...but there will be something else to fill the vacuum.

Anonymous said...

Facebook is now responsible for 1in4 marriage/relationship breakdowns. I regrete to say I am one of the 1in4. My wife decided to register on facebook without my knowledge she then got hooked on farmville and subseqently latched on to a guy from our local pub with whom is is now having an affair with. I have filed for divorce simply because I can not cope anymore with her lies and decete. This is the third time she has had an affair and each time it's been with people right on our door step. I have even contenplated taking my own life on several occassions due the the lack of remorse, feeling she has shown and all that after 25yrs of marriage as a keep women. We have been together for 28yrs in total. Facebook reckes lives as did the CB Radio when it was introduced many years ago I should know my fiancee at the time struck up an affair with someone one that. All this pain, deciete and lie just leads me to think that there is no one in the world you can trust. Those in relationships should stay away from the evil site and those seeking to destroy other peoples relationship for self gratification should be treated with the contempt they deserve. Well I for one hope that the saying what goes around comes around holds some truth!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Facebook is the evil when it comes to relationships. Mine met a friend of mine and took the conversations private, then calls and gifts to it. Lied to me about continuing the friendship. How do you regain trust you once had now that he says for the second time it is over.

Anonymous said...

Your husband always being on the PLAYSTATION is a total and utter BLESSING. He could have been the one who had been secretly spending hours on end on FACEBOOK with girls on his account. I'm sorry you're hurting but if you had been aware that his release from working hard and worrying about money issues was just the PLAYSTATION, you should have been grateful. I would be able to empathize more with you had you said he was neglecting you for FACEBOOK..

Anonymous said...

Facebook ruined my relationship. Months ago I caught him chatting in a very inappropriate way with two women. He said all because he thought we were done (we had a little argument) well I let it go and we tried to fix things. Now we got in a huge fight because I caught him lying to me about something very important. When he apologized and told me the truth, I did my best to patch things up, I want it to work and I am very forgiving. By this time he moved to a friend's where there is no computer. Well, before we got back together I had changed my status and he changed his at the library where he was using the computer, but he also posted about how I dumped him and everyone rallied to his defense and made me look like a heartless golddigger who dumped him for no good reason. So...our reconcilation is no longer as happy because I am humiliated and these people don't even know the truth. He even posted his phone number and asked his friends to call him...it opens up opportunities for him to talk to other women again. I am so humiliated I deactivated my account and I am not getting it back, I will miss many of my old friends but it's too much drama and I don't need that. I might reactivate long enough to ask for a few people's contact info then be done with it for good. I am trying hard not to care what people I don't even know think of me especially when they don't know the true situation. And you know what? Me and my fiance MET on Facebook two years ago. He has always been jealous of my male friends on there and honestly I am jealous too. This site CAN ruin relationships people say "Oh if you communicate and trust your partner..." and so on...well people can slip up easily especially with sites like this and with so many manipulative individuals out there.

Anonymous said...

Found out my wife was texting a "just a friend" from highschool.
The cellphone bill laid it all out there plainly.
And Facebook was used to communicate after I found out about their relationship.

We are divorced now. The family of a 10 year old girl destroyed, because of an obscenely self-centered woman, and a man that deserves a bullet to his face.

Here we are, 3 months after divorce, and shes not even talking to Guy#1 anymore. I guess he wasnt the "SOULMATE" she claimed he was on texts messages?
I wonder if the fool she is with now, knows the kinds of things she said to the first guy, just a month ago.

Honestly, I am glad to be rid of such a lowlife piece-of-shit person like her.